


I Am the Walrus

by whattomwants



Category: Hannibal (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, Cannibalism, Crimes & Criminals, Gen, Law Enforcement, Murder, Sexual Content, Violence
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-06-17
Updated: 2013-06-18
Packaged: 2017-12-15 07:14:26
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,245
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/846790
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/whattomwants/pseuds/whattomwants
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Will Graham isn't the first person of his kind that Dr. Hannibal Lecter has run into. Before Will there was a man an MI5 agent named Tom Hiddleston. He had a dark and sorted past. After a stint in the local mental hospital Tom is allowed back at work despite his doubtful mental health. His boss Mr. Calloway, who worries that eventually Tom will once again suffer a breakdown, enlists the help of Dr. Lecter to aid Tom in his recovery as a series of Jack the Ripper like murders tears through the city and as a sixth victim is discovered a series of events will change Tom's life forever as he pours himself into finding the killer who is right under his own nose.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Tom Hiddleston

**Author's Note:**

> There will be gore, there will be sex, there will be things that could trigger some people. You have been warned.

_“One thing you can't hide - is when you're crippled inside.”_

__

It always amazed him how easy it was to cut into a heart. Its bright red flesh rich in taste something Dr. Lecter could appreciate. He was a lover of food, a man with a culinary prowess that was unsurpassed. He enjoyed making meals for his friends, meals that were rarely heard of meals of the utmost quality. Therefore, he couldn’t use just any heart it had to be that of a human for he found it to be the most exquisite bitter in flavor with a sweet aftertaste. Tonight’s meal had to be perfect there was no room for flaws. Will Graham, one of Dr. Lecter’s patients and someone he considered a friend, was coming over for dinner.  

There was something about the FBI profiler that Hannibal found comfort in. He reminded him of a previous patient of his someone very similar in his job status and psychological being. If Jack Crawford thought for one second that Will was the only one of his kind he couldn’t have been more wrong and Hannibal had seen this first hand. He remembered vividly the day he met Tom Hiddleston, an MI5 agent plagued by mental illness and lucky to still have his job.

“Do you mind if I sit here?”

Tom glanced up from his lunch his blue eyes reflecting the light from the lamp that hung from the ceiling. He usually ate alone appreciating what seemed like the only time he could properly collect his thoughts. The man that stood before him had rather harsh features his cheekbones protruding from his face his eyes sunken in giving him an almost skeletal appearance.

“Actually I do.” Tom said a piece of toast pressed against his cheek.

“Well there are no other places to sit in the lunch room. Perhaps you could entertain me for a while.”

Hannibal pulled out his chair his eyes never leaving the young man sitting across from him. Tom Hiddleston had curly blonde hair giving him the appearance that he was much younger than he actually was. He looked like an overgrown child his tall 6’2 frame hunched over his afternoon meal.

“You’re married?” Hannibal inquired taking note of the white marking on the young man’s tanned ring finger.

“I was. Legally I still am, but she’s moved out.”

“That must have been hard for you.”

Tom shrugged. “After what happened I can’t say I blame her.”

“Children?”

“Three. Two boys and one girl.”

“Surely the apple of your eye.”

Tom was a little put off by the conversation after all he had just met this man and it felt as if he was being interrogated a feeling of overwhelming annoyance crept over him.

“Not to be rude, but I don’t know you.”

“I'm sorry allow me to introduce myself.” Hannibal extended his hand. “I’m Hannibal Lecter.”

Tom didn’t bother taking his hand wanting him to know how unpleasant the situation was for him.

“I’m sorry if you feel uncomfortable with my questions.”

“What do you do for a living Mr. Lecter? If you don’t mind me asking.”

Hannibal smirked. “I’m a psychiatrist.”

The young man groaned throwing his toast onto his plate. “You have one incident and suddenly every mental health doctor in Britain comes out of the woodworks. I don’t need your help I’m fine.”

“Mr. Calloway thinks otherwise.”

“Well he doesn’t know my situation so it’s easy for him to analyze my psyche.”

“I apologize if I seemed intrusive that was not my intent.”

Tom got up and grabbed his food shoving it back into the brown paper bag it came in and heading for the nearest waste bin. He was fuming and upset that after all these months his time at the mental hospital was still being brought up. How could he get passed it when people were constantly reminding him of it? It was bad enough that everyone knew what had happened but why was it necessary for him to talk about it? He simply wanted it to go away wanted to forget it ever occurred.

“Where are you off to now?” Hannibal asked slipping a spoonful of soup into his mouth.

“I’m off to give a lecture is that ok? Do you also want to know what kind of car I drive, who does my hair and what time I take a crap?”

“None of that information is necessary. Do you mind if I sit in?”

“Yes I do mind.”

Hannibal nodded. “Well in that case I wish you all the luck.”

* * *

Tom paced back and forth staring at his pupils their faces only slightly visible as the light from the projector cast a soft glow about the room. There had been a series of rather high profile murders in what was once known as the Whitechapel district made to copycat the infamous serial killer Jack the Ripper. The major difference was that no woman was safe. He didn’t care whether they were impoverished or wealthy he simply wanted to murder and mutilate them. After the fifth victim was discovered police had hoped the murder spree would come to an end given the theory of the canonical five, but only a month later a sixth victim was discovered a few blocks from where victim 5 had been found.  She wasn’t like the others and it was safe to say the murderer was doing everything in his power to taunt the police to show them just how bad things were going to get.

Janie Caldwell seemed like any other girl except for her ties to the royal family. The police had done their best to conceal this information not wanting to create too much widespread panic, but an anonymous caller tipped off the news and before long it was on every front page and every television station. It had been three weeks since her body had been discovered and the police had very little to go on creating quite a backlash throughout the country. How could the police be so incompetent that they couldn’t find a mass murderer who chopped up his victims before leaving their bodies to rot in what was once known as the worst street in London given its previous history?

As of today none of the photos of Janie Caldwell’s dismembered body had ever been shown except to the few who had been working her murder case, but Tom believed in truth. The first slide showed up and he could hear the gasps. One man began to heave loudly the sounds from his throat echoing through the room.

“If this makes you sick to your stomach, which it should, and you find yourself unable to keep your lunch down than may I suggest a change in department for this is truly what you are going to see if you choose to continue on. Now if you look…”

The doors opened catching Tom’s attention. He turned on his heels watching as a dark figure appeared in the doorway.

“Can I help you?” He asked irritated at the fact that someone would interrupt his class.

“Please continue.”

Dr. Lecter appeared from out of the shadows slipping past a few people before taking a seat in the very back not wanting Tom to be distracted by his presence.

Tom shook his head turning his attention back to the task at hand. “If you notice her eyes have been cleanly removed as well as the tip of her nose and her ears. Her face has been deeply cut almost decapitating her at the upper jawline…”

Hannibal listened as Tom continued hanging onto every word. **_Murder. Decapitation. Mutilation._** It was like a sweet symphony seeing their bodies, hearing the young MI5 agent describe their deaths it was pure music to the doctor’s ears.  The lights came on and Hannibal threw open his eyes having lost himself in his own thoughts. The classroom cleared out rather quickly not to anyone’s surprise and Tom could only guess that half of them were off to the loo in need of expelling their lunches.

“That was a very informative lecture Mr. Hiddleston.”

“Oh you know my name why does that not surprise me?”

“Mr. Calloway and I had a long conversation about you. He says you’re one of his best and that’s why you’re still allowed to work here.”

“Despite my mental capacity I’m sure. Thank you very much for reiterating that.”

Hannibal reached out and grabbed Tom’s arm giving it a hard squeeze. “I am not trying to hurt you Tom. I only ask that you at least consider stopping by my office. We can talk about whatever you want we don’t have to discuss what happened.”

“At least not now right?” Tom wasn’t dumb he knew eventually it would come up. “Thanks but I’ll pass.”

Hannibal quickly stuffed his card into Tom’s shirt pocket before he had a chance to leave. “Just think about it. Think about your wife and your children.”

“You think threatening me with my family is going to make me change my mind?”

Hannibal’s lips turned upwards into a twisted smirk. “I don’t think…I know.”


	2. Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dr. Lecter secures a meeting with the trouble MI5 agent through rather drastic means as we finally get to see just what is plaguing Tom Hiddleston and we begin to try and understand what really happened the night Tom Hiddleston was admitted.

> _I wish everyone would stop reminding me that I’m not o.k._

__   


“Dr. Lecter please come in.”

Jim Calloway was a short portly fellow someone with a rather jolly demeanor who had brooding tendencies. He was a well-respected agent and the only man Tom Hiddleston seemed to be on friendly terms with. Perhaps it was because he genuinely cared about Tom’s well-being he knew what the young man was capable of saw great potential within him if he would buckle down and simply get the right help. That is where Dr. Lecter came in.

“I spoke with Tom just a few minutes ago. I tried to persuade him to pay me a visit, but I’m afraid a more drastic approach may be needed.”

“He’s always been rather stubborn. If I had to guess one of the reasons he refused your request was just to spite me. Dr. Lecter you have to help him he has a gift and I would hate to see it go to waste.”

“Don’t worry Mr. Calloway. I’ve put in a few…calls and I have a feeling Tom will be paying me a visit for dinner.”

* * *

Tom sat at his desk papers strewn about. Things were always chaotic when it came to his life and why should his desk be any different? He shuffled through them trying to find the proper documentation. He was working on the murder of Janie Caldwell the young woman with royal ties. He knew almost immediately that her attacker was someone she was comfortable with someone she already was acquainted with for no one of her stature would go wandering about the old Whitechapel district in the middle of the night by herself. What baffled him the most was how clean everything was the killer left not a single fingerprint, not a single clue as to his identity and the extraction of organs was immaculate. Surely this was someone who worked in the medical field someone who was familiar with the human body.

Tom opened his drawer pulling out a manila envelope her pictures housed inside of it. It was probably the 500th time he’d looked at them something about her cut up corpse captivated him perhaps it was that for him the pictures seemed to spring to life. He pulled them from the envelope spreading them across his desk his OCD beginning to get the better of him. It took him 45 minutes to get them perfectly aligned preventing an almost assured anxiety attack.

The images began to distort themselves turning into what looked like liquefied silver slowly rising from their flat paper and taking on a more realistic form. He closed his eyes as every color on the rainbow spectrum flooded into his mind a slight pressure began to build inside of his head. Slowly his eyelids flickered as they ascended allowing his gaze to fall to the floor. There on the carpet in his office was the body of Janie Caldwell.

He got up from his desk slowly approaching her, his fingertips brushing across the smooth wood finish. Squatting down he watched as her wounds began to ooze bright red blood trickling down her porcelain skin.

“He removed her implants along with any remaining breast tissue as if cutting up her face wasn’t enough.”

His turned his attention towards the large gash which ran vertically from her navel to her pubic bone.

“He then proceeded to remove every single female organ leaving nothing not even a single drop of blood which he then drained her of. He left her empty…”

The room then began to shake and her body began to once again take on a shape that wasn’t quite human. He stood up his heart beating so hard he felt it would break out from beneath his rib cage. Clutching his chest he got a good look at her face before it began to rot away her flesh falling off her bones.

The sound of his cell phone ringing was the key to pulling Tom out of this horrific hallucination. He glanced around his office everything was in its proper place the only thing out of the ordinary was the amount of sweat dripping from his body, his heart rate, and his breath which he was having difficulty finding.

Grabbing his cell phone he flipped it open pressing it to his ear trying his best to control his body. “Hello?”

“You had another one of your hallucinations didn’t you?”

“I’m fine.” Tom stated hoping it was an adequate response.

Tom and his wife Olivia were on good terms as good as they could be after all they shared three children. The first few months were the hardest Tom found it difficult sleeping alone, he would suffer from intense nightmares and separation anxiety, but he eventually adapted and now found having a bed to himself rather pleasant.

“I was just calling to check up on you. Don’t forget you have the kids this weekend.”

“Livi as much as I would love to spend time with our children you know my job is very hectic right now. I could be called away at any moment therefore I think it best if they stay with you.”

“I can’t keep them this weekend I’m going out of town with an old friend from University.”

“Oh? Please tell me it’s not that idiot Nathaniel.”

“He’s not an idiot.”

“Jesus Christ we’re not even divorced we’re separated.”

“And this is why! Nothing has ever happened between Nathaniel and I. I wish you would trust me.”

“I trust you about as far as I can throw you. Especially after you tried to put me back in the mental hospital.”

“Why is it so bad for me to worry about you?”

“I have told you over and over again that I am fine. It was an isolated incident.”

“Fine. Oh I meant to tell you a Dr. Lecter called for you.”

This caught Tom’s attention. He lowered his eyebrows creating deep ridges on his forehead. “Dr. Lecter?”

“Yes he called to remind you that you have an appointment with him this evening at 6. I don’t know why he called here no one calls for you here.”

* * *

Hannibal stood in the kitchen a potato in one hand a knife in the other. Peeling them was a favorite pastime of his and he always found it to be a great stress relief.  He sliced against the grains feeling the knife quiver beneath his thumb as its brown flesh slowly slithered away onto a paper napkin. He smiled softly to himself the smell of meat lingered in the air. It was almost time for dinner his favorite meal of the day and nothing would tear him away from it except the sound of his doorbell. He removed his apron and tossed it on the counter a little surprised that his guest was so early.

“Coming.” He shouted wiping his hands on his pants and opening the door pleased to see Tom on the other side of it. “You’re a little early. I was hoping to have dinner done before you arrived.”

Tom pushed past him visibly upset that Dr. Lecter had overstepped his boundaries. “I don’t know you ok? I don’t know what you and Jim talked about, but I assure you it didn’t give you permission to call my wife. I am usually a very understanding person…”

“Have a seat Tom. I’ll get you something to drink.”

“You’re not listening to me!”

“Oh but I am.” Hannibal sauntered over to the bar which sat at the back of the room grabbing two glasses and hoisting them up. “What will you have?”

“I…I don’t drink. Not anymore.”

“Water than.” Hannibal began to make himself a drink. “I know you’re upset and I can understand that, but you must also understand my situation.” He poured himself a glass of bourbon and some water for Tom heading back towards the agent who was now standing in the middle of the room his eyes wandering about.

“You have a fascinating book collection doctor.”

“When I’m not cooking I’m usually reading. Please have a seat.” He handed Tom his glass of water taking a seat in his armhair. “Jim is only looking out for you. He sees something in you most others don’t.”

“Well Jim has always been a fool. It still doesn’t explain why you called Livi.”

“Desperate times call for desperate measures. I did what I had to do to get your attention.”

“Well you have it. “

“Good. Now tell me what’s been bothering you lately.”

Tom was hesitant at first to begin spilling his problems out to a man he had only just met. “Well…I wish everyone would stop reminding me that I'm not o.k.”

“So you know there’s room for improvement when it comes to your mental state.”

“Yeah.” Tom replied with a chuckle. “There’s always room for improvement.”

Hannibal pressed the rim of his glass to his thin lips tilting it back allowing the bourbon to seep into his mouth. This was the first time he really was able to get a good look at the young man sitting across from him. He was handsome on the surface with thick curly blonde hair, blue eyes, a prominent nose to match his rather sharp cheekbones and slim lips which he constantly ran his bright pink tongue across. He didn’t look like someone who had been through a stint in a mental facility in fact on the outside he looked perfectly normal.

Hannibal leaned over placing his cup on the coffee table. “You know what I really want to discuss Tom. There’s no need to feel as if you can’t trust me everything said here is doctor patient confidentiality it doesn’t leave this room.”

“What is it you want to talk about Dr. Lecter?”

“I want to talk about what happened that night in your home.”

Tom tossed him a soft smile his face taking on a more sinister appearance. It was in this moment Hannibal realized there were two sides to Tom Hiddleston one as equally terrifying as the other though he was unaware the other one even existed.

“You see that’s the thing doctor…” He paused for a moment his tongue once again coating his lips. “…I don’t remember that night.”


End file.
